Blog Entry

Dungeons, Dragons and Big Ten divisions

Posted on: December 13, 2010 1:37 pm
Edited on: December 13, 2010 6:05 pm

The new Big Ten has 12 teams and will start every season with two Ls.

If this has you confused, it's meant to in the new Large Dozen. The Big Ten made a big deal Monday out of revealing the names of its two six-team divisions. Then it underwhelmed us. The divisions are named Leaders and Legends. Not to be confused with Dungeons and Dragons or Abbott and Costello.

Leaders Division:  Illinois, Indiana, Ohio State, Penn State, Purdue, Wisconsin

Legends Division:  Iowa, Michigan, Michigan State, Minnesota, Nebraska, Northwestern

"There's nothing, maybe, like it out there," Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany said.

That's certainly true. With all the great history and tradition available to it, the haughty Big Ten went low brow, corporate, generic. Leaders and Legends? That's the name of the trophy store down the street. What were "Gods" and "Superheroes" already taken? One thing for sure: The league won't be getting any cease and desist letters from famous people unless it's this guy. Sign ups are now being taken for summer school classes just to memorize the members of each division.

"Maybe if people don't embrace it in the first hour," Delany said, "they will in the first 24 or 36."

It's likely to take longer, if ever. If you're like me you're already wondering how the league promotes a Leaders Division showdown between Purdue and Indiana. It also prompts the question: Are the Leaders not legends and the Legends not leaders? And the alliteration thing is about as clever as a handoff to Archie Griffin. Delany was asked if the "two Ls" thing won't be associated with losses.

"You're the first one who has mentioned it," Delany said.

Apparently the commish wasn't on Twitter Monday which blew up with general mockery and disgust. A firm no doubt got six figures to "consult" on the division names and new logo. You'll love that when you see it. The league was cute with its embedded "11" in the old logo. In the new one, the "I" in "Big" has turned into "1". The "G" is meant to kind of simulate a "0". Maybe, but the "G" also looks like a "6". The league might be sending us a Da Vinci Code message on its future expansion plans.

"Now that you mention it ...," Delany said of a possible interpretation of "Big 16" in the new logo.

What is this a trademark or an M.C. Escher print?

All those names, all those (lower-case) legends and the league completely blew it. Schembechler and Hayes divisions would have been perfect. If Delany was worried about favoring individuals, then consider none of what went on Monday would have been possible without Bo and Woody enhancing the brand.

Instead the league used some of those people names for its conference awards, hyphenating them to get as many leaders and legends into the mix as possible. That makes the league's major awards look like chick-flick characters from your basic Lifetime movie. Who can forget Meredith Baxter-Birney playing Colleen Stagg-Paterno in "Looking For Love in Iowa City"?

My take on the subject wouldn't be complete without a list of suggested division names from myself and Twitter followers earlier on Monday. We got your generic right here.


Since: Feb 6, 2008
Posted on: December 15, 2010 12:02 pm

Dungeons, Dragons and Big Ten divisions

Somehow the new Big 10 division names conjur up an image of two guys under imense pressure to come up with a great idea at midnight before the big presentation to the Big Ten Commissioner.  They have a bong, a bag of green buds, a white board and a bag of Dorito's.  That explains how they thought it was a good idea.  Now the real question is how did they get Big Ten Commish to think it's a good idea? 

Spiked coffee and bagels?

Since: Jan 4, 2008
Posted on: December 15, 2010 8:44 am

Dungeons, Dragons and Big Ten divisions

This is a hilarious column! I like that recommendation, Gods and Superheroes. I wonder if Ohio State and Penn State will fell like they got screwed by being pared in the "leaders" division, and not the legends division considering their history. 

Also one thing that bothers me is Ohio State and Michigan are in other divisions. Will they still schedule that rivalry every year on purpose? Because with two divisions, you can't play each team once each year. There will be years they won't play Nebraska or Northwestern. 

Otherwise they did do a good job of splitting the divisions as fairly as possible. Both divisions on average have about 3 to 4 bowl eligible teams each. I'm glad they won't be a lopsided division like the Big 12 ending up being with only Nebraska and Missouri being the good teams in the North compared to 4 to 5 good teams on average in the South with the exception of Baylor, but even they are bowl eligible this year. But I guess when they form the Big 12, Kansas State was good along with Nebraska, and Missouri had a couple of bowl years in the late 90s. So I hope that won't happen to the new Big 10 in which either the legends or leaders division becomes dominant while the other division becomes really weak. 

Since: Dec 30, 2008
Posted on: December 14, 2010 10:25 pm

Dungeons, Dragons and Big Ten divisions

the league names are atrocious.  it should have been the Hayes and Schembechler divisions.  and also how is ohio state not in the Legends Division and nebraska is?  how is nebraska "big ten legendary" and ohio state isnt?  even the logo sucks.  im all for the merger and the divisions but if your gonna do it then do it right

Since: Feb 8, 2007
Posted on: December 14, 2010 10:20 pm

Dungeons, Dragons and Big Ten divisions

Yeah both the logo and the names of the divisions both suck.  I think a 3rd grader could of done a better job.  And I'm sorry but learn how to count Big 10. I don't care if you think your name is synonymous with college football, it's stupid

Since: Oct 26, 2008
Posted on: December 14, 2010 5:50 pm

Dungeons, Dragons and Big Ten divisions

Or one better Illinois...."National" "Chokers"!?!?!?!?!?!

Since: Oct 26, 2008
Posted on: December 14, 2010 5:47 pm

Dungeons, Dragons and Big Ten divisions're just a straight up punk!!!! Keep on hating us and we'll keep on being the best conf. in the nation year after year!!!!!! Five of the six SEC west teams alone are in the top 25, what about your puke a$$ conf.! Hate us, I love it!!!!!! 

Since: Nov 25, 2008
Posted on: December 14, 2010 5:45 pm

Dungeons, Dragons and Big Ten divisions

Or how about "National" and "Champions"?

Seems to fit as well.

Since: Oct 26, 2008
Posted on: December 14, 2010 5:40 pm

Dungeons, Dragons and Big Ten divisions

UNF, Kentucky is in the East Div. because of where the school itself is located...dumb a$$

Since: Oct 26, 2008
Posted on: December 14, 2010 5:34 pm

Dungeons, Dragons and Big Ten divisions

Awesome!!!!!!!!!! serogers!!!!!!!!hahaha

Since: Oct 26, 2008
Posted on: December 14, 2010 5:30 pm

Dungeons, Dragons and Big Ten divisions

Da'er5150... you actually like this? And you're calling Dodd a moron? Out of the Hundreds of thousands of fans out there, probably only ten thinks this is cool!

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